The Thorn Cuts (Written 02/05/2007)

This morning I woke up with a terrible headache. Not from drinking too much or from staying out too late, but from knowing that today is going to be another lost day in my life looking for a job.

I told G. who put on his usual face he does when he is about to give me 'the speech'. This consists of abnormally raised eyebrows (supposed to convey optimism), a large smile (supposed to make me feel warm inside) and an expression in his eyes that is meant to show me how much he believes what he says. If you want to try this on one of your loved ones, let me just warn you that not one of these expressions work. They just make the person feel even worse. Combined with the 'don't worry, you'll find something soon and this is just what everyone goes through'-speech, it's actually an effective way to push your loved one over the edge.

Dammit! It's been two months since we moved here! When am I ever going to get a job? I have left all ambitions behind me to just now hope for some crappy communications job; and still NOTHING.

G. says that there is no way around this. Everyone has to pass through, and it's always the long way. I do not agree. But I don't tell him, seeing that he is the only ally I have around here.

What wouldn't I trade for an hour with my lovely friend J. at the wannabe cozy coffee chain in Bristol that we quite simply named 'our' café? I know what she would tell me about this situation. She would not say that it's the same thing for everyone, or that I am exagerrating or that I will find something when I least expect it. She would say that if the employers can't see what a catch I am, then it's their loss. Then she would add: 'Daniella, there probably IS a short cut somewhere for you to take. You just have to look for it. And when you find it, you shouldn't be surprised if it leads through some bushes with thorns. It only means that you should let them scratch you. That will compensate for not choosing the long way around."

Smart lady that J.